Women and the guilt complex

“Guilt is to the spirit, what pain is to the body”. -  Elder David A Bednar.

If ever there was a common prevailing emotion typically shared by women, it is one of ‘guilt’. But what exactly is the offence or crime which women feel they have committed? Who is the prosecutor, the judge and the jury? And who, or rather where, is our defence?

Typically, this feeling of ‘guilt’ experienced by women, relates to the issue of life balance and how much time we spend with our children, families or loved ones. Guilt and worry are negative, debilitating emotions, which often feed each other. Both have an impact on our well-being and our self-confidence.

Why is guilt a female phenomenon?

We know that as young girls and throughout life, women have to face conscious and unconscious bias in terms of how we are expected to behave.

We have the mother archetypes of ‘gatherer’. We are caring, nurturing, developing and influencing, whilst the father archetypes are leading, challenging and courageous. Women are biologically programmed to have children and despite modern advances in terms of equality, women remain the primary carer.

Today, as the average age of survival increases, women are more likely to be in the double challenge of caring for both children and elderly relatives.

Is it any wonder that we are struggling as we accept additional responsibilities of work, with long hours and total commitment? The UK, in particular, has a strong work ethic. Not only is working all the hours to get the job done accepted, it is positively promoted.

How do we rid ourselves of the guilt complex?

By being very clear of who we are, what we think and what we do.

We must look at our lives and be clear of what we want. We must then pursue this, whilst living our values and pursuing our purpose. Leading from within, or self-leadership, is key and this need is growing.

Our lives are full of choices. We must make our choice and then own it. We must stop being a victim and know that we are doing our best. Be clear that by trying to do what we do, we are not guilty of anything.

By accepting that we cannot have a perfect life, but understanding that a good life is pretty good, we change what we want and accept what we can’t.

If you need further help or support in how to deal with feeling guilty, get in touch contact@7Seeds.co.uk

Victoria Grozier